Perhaps you were a young woman in 1976. If you were, then you remember what it was like. If you weren't, it's amazing to realize what it was like.
We came at the tail end of the liberation movement. My father, who was the parent of three daughters and no sons, told us we could do or be whatever we wanted, we just had to plan, set goals, and work to reach those goals. My mother, a teenage bride, wanted us to be independent. She modeled doing things such as repairing a lamp or building a cement block wall, using her actions to inspire me. I attended Mills College, an all women school, right in the center of Oakland, California. LIBERATION! Liberate us from the household duties of cooking, cleaning, caring for children. LIBERATION! We didn't have to dress differently, focus our look on how to get a man. BURN THOSE BRAS! Symbolic of no more constriction, either physical, emotional, in the work place, in the home. EQUALITY! Things were going to be equal for us. No pay differences, no opportunity differences, no special treatment.
What happened in the last thirty plus years? I look around at my friends and myself, professionals, CEO's, doctors, teachers, nurses, psychologists, graphic artists, accountants, illustrators, behaviorists, scientists, mathematicians. Many own their own businesses, others have worked hard to get to the top of organizations. Many have children, some do not. Nearly all are married, some divorced and married again.
The TRUTH hits me. We were not truly liberated. Instead, we did it all. We raised children, cooked, cleaned AND worked long hours. We found ways to squeeze in visits to the pediatrician, tutoring, art lessons and soccer practice, without missing work. Grading papers on our laps while watching practice, working split shifts to be home at 3:00 when the children needed guidance for homework, working nights, grabbing some sleep in those few hours when kids were at school.
Many husbands helped, they truly did. But if you sit down and do a complete analysis of tasks and percentage of time it took to do all these things, liberated women came out short. Short of sleep, short of time, short of things for ourselves. What is so liberated about that?
So, on June 4, 2010, I decided to become DE-LIBERATED. I quit my job of twenty three years. I am going to learn to be a housewife. I am going to spend time doing the old fashion things, cooking, cleaning, sewing, shopping (although I won't have nearly the amount of money, not having a job and all).
This blog is dedicated to that journey...from Liberated Professional Working Parent, to Deliberate Transitions. I hope you will join me in this journey by sharing your own story here.
Robin Martinez Rice
